Maternity Experience

About MatExp

#MatExp Whose Shoes? update

Some really exciting developments with #MatExp Whose Shoes? at the moment.

Bromley MSLC produced a ‘one year on’ report following up on their Whose Shoes? workshop at King’s College hospital using “I said, I did” as a framework to list all the fantastic outcomes that had come from pledges made on the day.

Language continues to be a big issue for women and families, but some great initiatives are now happening. Building on the Whose Shoes? workshops, Leeds and Colchester in particular are working on specific language challenges. I came up with a ‘Negativity Bingo’ and had great fun with my team at the NHS Fab Change Day #DoAthOn event launching #DumptheDaftWords.

I have been getting some exciting invitations to speak about building social movements and of course gave #MatExp a big shout out in my talk at the launch of #AHPsIntoAction, they have invited me back for a longer keynote session at their annual conference in June.

More hospitals are coming on board with the Whose Shoes? approach – the energy is particularly strong in London, the West Midlands and the South West regions. It has been great to present on several occasions now with Catherine MacLennan and Emma Jane Sasaru and to see people learning so much from their courageous sharing of their lived experience.

Last Friday, 3 Feb 2017, we were invited to present a #MatExp Whose Shoes? session to get some good discussions going as part of a packed event launching #PanStaffsMTP in Stafford. We concentrated specifically on continuity and perinatal mental health. This is the county-wide transformation programme to improve maternity experience in Staffordshire to implement the national ‘Better Births’ vision. This informal film gives you a flavour.

We are proud of the crowdsourced ‘Nobody’s Patient’ project and thank everyone for your fantastic contributions. We now have over 120 new Whose Shoes? scenarios and poems and the new resources will be made available shortly to all the hospitals who were existing customers. Florence Wilcock, Sam Frewin and I are finalising the supporting toolkit and collating the case studies, ahead of our ‘wrap up’ event in March. We are trying to pull together lots of ideas for positive change, with or without a workshop. I hope you are enjoying the regular Steller stories, including Florence’s monthly reports.

Wonderful to see everyone doing such amazing work, speaking all over the place, building networks, spreading the word and generally making great things happen.

Keep up the good work!

Gill Phillips @Whose Shoes

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#MatExp competition – win a ‘Whose Shoes?’ workshop!

Launched today by Sarah-Jane Marsh

at NHS Expo…

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When you think of a competition, what do you typically think of?

  •  An application form with lots of dull questions ✅
  •  A raffle ticket with a lucky number.  Not necessarily yours.  ✅
  • A dodgy  message flashing on your phone saying you have won £1 million.  Claim your prize  NOW!!

Well, as many of you will know, ‘#MatExp Whose Shoes? ‘is a bit alternative. So we are giving you endless alternatives as to how you would like to enter the competition.  We are not big fans of labels, boxes and standardised formats   So just take a look at the link below to see the areas we would like you to think about and then let your creativity loose as a goose and see what you and your people come up with!

And if you don’t know what ‘#MatExp Whose Shoes?’ is about, where have you been  for the last two years? 😉 Loads of material here on matexp.org.uk or by browsing the web.  And one of these days Gill Phillips, creator of ‘Whose Shoes’  will get round to updating her website –  but she has just been far too busy tweeting and building momentum on Twitter @WhoseShoes.

Please also help spread the word. We are hoping that lots of people who are not familiar with social media will get involved and will get drawn in by the MatExp magic and find that it is fun to link with others who share their passion, way beyond the confines of their department, hospital or local area.

Click the link below to download a PDF file which contains further information and an entry form.  Good luck!

Entry form – Nobody’s Patient competition

Please visit this page again as we will add our launch video once it has been shown live at NHS Expo!

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Women’s Voices in #MatExp – your Antenatal Teacher

I was asked to do a talk to student midwives at Salford University in January on the topic of “Women’s Voices” in maternity care.  As part of my presentation I included the voices of the midwives who work in maternity care, and a reminder that there are many other women for whom maternity care is their professional, as well as perhaps their personal, experience.  “Women’s Voices” in maternity care should cover the midwives, obstetricians, health visitors, doulas who care for us, as well as the women giving birth.

So I decided to start a series of blog posts on “Women’s Voices in #MatExp” from the point of view of those working in maternity, and this is the seventh of those. This is Fleur Parker’s experience as an antenatal teacher – thank you so much to Fleur for agreeing to write for us.  You can read the other blogs in the series here:

Your Midwife

Your Doula

Your Breastfeeding Supporter

Your Sonographer

Your Obstetrician

Your Anaesthetist

And yes, I will be doing a “Men’s Voices in #MatExp” series too.  Because this campaign is about all voices.

Helen.x

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I am putting my head above the parapet to say I am an Antenatal Teacher.

Fleur Parker

I’m not sure why, but recently we have been getting a lot of flak.  Sometimes it feels as if everything that is wrong with birth is the fault of the antenatal teachers.  On Twitter famous names berate us and newspaper columnists lampoon us

So writing this piece is taking quite a lot of courage and I hope I can do us proud.

There are many, many antenatal teachers – those of us who work with expectant parents during pregnancy to help them prepare for labour, birth, the fourth trimester and the early days as a parent.  We come in different sizes, shapes, colours, languages and approaches.  There is not a one size fits all approach.

antenatal prep

There are three ways to prepare for labour and birth – intellectually, physically and emotionally/mentally.  In my experience it is those who prepare a little every day in each of these ways that feel most able to cope with their labour and birth experience. There are a lot of options for antenatal preparation – yoga, pilates, aqua natal, hypnobirthing, NCT classes etc.

I have absolutely no idea why I am an antenatal teacher.  I didn’t go to antenatal classes myself.  My son is now 20 and I think I’ve finally come to terms with the fact I am a Mother – I will not be the first in the queue to cuddle your newborn.   I will however, have freshly baked cake and a lovely cup of tea and all the time you need to talk, explore and work out what the £$%^@* just happened.

I support men and women, over 1,300 have attended antenatal classes I have facilitated.  First time mums, fourth time dads, same sex couples, single mums, surrogate mum and dads, young mums, old mums, surprised mums and reluctant dads.  We’ve all sat together, in a circle not knowing quite what to expect.

I have taught classes on my birthday, my husband’s birthday and my son’s birthday.  I’ve taught when I’ve been happy, sad, ill and well.  I’ve sat before a group after finding out my mother-in-law had died, unexpectedly on the operating table, on Christmas Eve and there was still four hours of a six-hour class left – and not told them because it isn’t about me.

It isn’t about my birth experience (caesarean in case you’re wondering) and there isn’t an NCT way to have a baby (whoops I’ve let the cat out of the bag I am an NCT antenatal teacher).  The way to have a baby is the way that’s right for you, in the moment.

If I have an overarching aim as an antenatal teacher it is to disrupt the story of birth.  To take the perceptions of expectant parents and give them the tools and skills to reimagine, to question and to put a story together that belongs to them – nobody else.    By the time people are having babies they have heard at least a couple of decades of birth stories – perhaps it’s Daphne on Neighbours whose water’s broke, contractions started and she gave birth ten minutes later still wearing her tights and with Bouncer the dog sniffing around.  Perhaps it’s a documentary, a soap or in films – there is a whole generation who have grown up with the story of pregnancy and birth from Twilight!

I hear hundreds of birth stories and often as I listen I’ll be thinking ‘okay, yes I could do that, it sounds hard work but okay.  I understand that and it was straightforward enough.’  But the new parent telling their story is in tears, sometimes shaking and upset.   Another time the story I’m hearing is one that shocks me, where I am, quite frankly, horrified.  In this case the mum or dad is happy ‘oh it was great, we had a chat with the Dr and decided to do this and that and when that didn’t work we went for the other – oh and the blood!’  It’s not hysteria or false memory it’s just that they were okay with their experience, it was, in the moment, entirely appropriate.

The research shows us that that is what matters to new parents.  It is less about the actual birth or in many ways the outcome but their satisfaction of their experience and perception of outcome that is most important.

There are also parents who because of the actions of others are traumatised and angry with the care they received – feeling abused and violated.  I’m not sure any of us can prepare for those eventualities.  Those are the parents I spend most time with, talking, understanding, signposting …… simply listening.

During classes we share stories, knowledge and experience.  We look at straightforward physiological birth and we look at birth that is anything but.  We think about becoming parents, relationships, cognitive, physical and emotional development of babies.  We play nappy roulette (sometimes I like to fulfil the NCT stereotype) and speed parenting.   We laugh and we cry and we eat cake.

I love my job – it is my passion and my purpose and I bring to it my head, heart and soul. I make lasting connections with people who are entering a whole new phase of life and I walk alongside them.

I don’t have the answers and I don’t always get it right.  But I have a lot of knowledge, rigorous CPD and I am an experienced and skilled adult educator and group facilitator.  But I am not the answer and I am not the problem.

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Why Your MSLC Matters

Maternity Service Liaison Committees (MSLCs) provide a means of ensuring the needs of women and professionals are listened to and we saw how effective they could be when properly supported and led.”

National Maternity Review February 2016

“I urge you to play your part in creating the maternity services you want for your family and your community. Voice your opinions, just as you have during this review, and challenge those providing the services to meet your expectations.” (Julia Cumberlege, Chair of the Review Team, 2016)

These quotes really illustrate why MSLCs matter. They sum up why I am so passionate about maintaining and sustaining our wonderful Maternity Services Liaison Committee and helping others maintain theirs.

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Because I have seen the difference a dynamic, properly supported, MSLC can make to a hospital Trust. Bromley MSLC, like its counterparts throughout the country, is a mix of individuals including commissioners, service users, midwives, doctors and other professionals coming together to monitor and improve local maternity services. The respect that everyone has for each other is evident in our meetings and some of the lightbulb ideas that arise are extraordinarily exciting. I tend to come away from meetings with my head reeling, but also tremendously grateful that we have this group of extraordinary passionate, dedicated people working and living in our area.

MSLCs were first established in 1984, enabling women to be involved in shaping the maternity care provided for them. The Department of Health suggests there should be an MSLC for each Trust in England and Wales. The Health and Social Care Act of 2012 states that health services at every level need to actively engage with service users:

  • Participating in planning and making decisions about their care
  • Enabling effective participation of the public in the commissioning process itself
  • So that services reflect the needs of local people.

Recommendation 13 from the 2015 Kirkup report into the Morecombe Bay Investigation also highlighted the importance of MSLCs.

MSLCs matter because…..

  • They are the only multi-disciplinary committee of its kind in maternity, bringing together commissioners, NHS Trust staff AND the women for whom the service is designed. One third of the committee is made up of service users, including a service user rep chair and vice chair.
  • They are independent NHS working groups that advise on commissioning and service development
  • They should include service users from all parts of the community, ensuring that all women’s voices are heard.
  • They promote collaboration and involvement
  • They plan, oversee and monitor maternity services in a local area and make recommendations for improvements where necessary.

They are one of the few examples in maternity where there is true collaboration between healthcare professionals and service users on equal terms at a local level. This leads to a much greater understanding between both parties of the challenges that are faced and the issues that really matter to local women.

The National Maternity Review also highlights the consensus among health professionals to change things for the better. Nowhere is this more evident than on an MSLC!

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MSLCs can achieve amazing things:

They plan…..together with the commissioners, service users have the unique opportunity to help shape the future of the maternity services in the local area. For example, because of user testimonials provided by our MSLC to the clinical executive, a new perinatal mental pathway is being developed in our local area by the CCG, which will greatly benefit thousands of women.

They oversee……our MSLC is involved in one off projects designed to improve maternity experiences for local women. We have designed information posters, are having an input into a “Welcome to the Ward” postnatal pack and have helped improve the birth environment on the Labour Ward. We also make tours of the wards, bringing a service user perspective and a fresh pair of eyes to the environment.

They monitor……our MSLC gains feedback from women through surveys, questionnaires and Walk the Patch both in the hospital and more recently in children centre health clinics in the community. That feedback is given directly to the lead health professionals of the Trust as well as the commissioners, who listen and act on our recommendations. Those improvements are then fed back to the service users, via social media and other means, so that we close the loop.

This type of work is not just being done by our MSLC. I know of countless other committees which are tirelessly working to improve services in their local area too. Our brilliant vice chair Michelle Quashie is planning a Women’s Voices conference in October and has asked me to present the achievements of our MSLC and others around the country, demonstrating how effective collaborative working can be. I am looking forward to showcasing just what has been and can be achieved then.

At our recent Whose Shoes event pledges were made at the end of the workshop about something that the delegates would do differently as a result of that day. These pledges have formed the workplan for our MSLC for 2016 and we will check to ensure that they have been carried out. MSLCs are true examples of #MatExp in action at a local level.

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We were also really pleased to see the importance of MSLCs highlighted on our beautiful graphic courtesy of New Possibilities.

For this blog I asked members of other MSLCs for their thoughts on why MSLCs matter. Responses included:

MSLCs4

MSLCs6

MSLCs3

MSLCs5

Catherine Williams has written a lot about the importance of MSLCs in her blog https://birthandbiology.wordpress.com/

And from our MSLC Leaders Facebook group:

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MSLCs8

And this from our vice-chair Michelle Quashie:

“MSLCs matter because it is gives all that are passionate about a Women’s Maternity experience a chance to join forces and make their hopes for better birthing world a reality.  It enables all members to be involved in ensuring this happens. It allows true collaborative working and keeps service users involved in decisions made about women’s maternity care and that of their family. It’s a safe place where women’s voices are heard, valued and respected. A Women’s experience is its driving force for that reason I am proud to be part of such a dynamic committee.

Initiatives like ‘Walk the Patch’ enable all women’s voices to be heard regarding the maternity care they are receiving. These voices from the community can then be filtered back to senior levels and actions are derived to improve the service as a result. WTP also gives the chance for those HCP that are providing truly women entered care the recognition they deserve.

I joined the MSLC after feeling very let down buy my personal maternity care. I knew I had to help change things for other women. Being part of the MSLC has enabled me to do that from the inside out. The work we have done and the wonderful HPs I have worked with has helped to restore my faith and feel empowered by being part of making change happen for others.

I hope that MSLCs get the recognition and support for the amazing work we are doing across the country. All that give up their time, do so because they are passionate and dedicated. MSLC’s should be mediatory for all trusts. How else can you ensure a woman centred service is given without women voices being heard in order to influence that service?”

Refreshed guidelines from NHS England, due for imminent publication, call for MSLCs to be run, maintained and funded by the CCGs. This is much needed, because in the current economic climate many MSLCs are fighting for modest but essential funding to continue the collaborative work they are doing. In addition, due to the unique nature of these committees it can be difficult for the commissioners to work out a mechanism for funding.

It is against this background, while MSLCs are struggling, that Julia Cumberlege, chair of the National Maternity Review, urges women in her introduction, “play your part…for your family and community … voice your opinions” as quoted at the top of this blog. MSLCs provide an ideal forum for service users to do just that. They are the ‘best practice model’ for shaping the future of our maternity services.

A petition has been started to emphasise the need for MSLCs in all areas. Please consider signing and sharing this petition so that MSLCs can continue the vital collaborative work they are doing at a local level, with volunteers’ expenses paid and commissioners everywhere listening and learning. https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/121772

If you are not already involved with a local maternity group that feeds into an MSLC – or the MSLC itself, search online to see what you can find out about local provision. Contact your local CCG, your head of midwifery, local Healthwatch, or any pregnancy and parenting groups, such as the NCT and find out what’s happening. You can find out more about MSLCs at https://www.nct.org.uk/professional/mslcs

Laura James

Chair, Bromley MSLC

2016

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/bromleymslc

Twitter: @BromleyMSLC

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What Does #MatExp Mean To You?

I had the privilege of hosting one of the weekly #MatExpHour Twitter chats last night, on the topic of “What Does #MatExp Mean To You?”  We had already received some thoughts on this topic via the #MatExp Facebook group, and I couldn’t wait to hear what answers we had from the gang on Twitter. I was not disappointed.  This campaign that Gill and Flo started has become something more than I think any of us could have imagined.  It is with much delight that I share with you what #MatExp means to those involved.

Those who couldn’t make the chat were keen to get in their thoughts in advance:

Helen Green

Sheena

STARFISH

Emma Jane Sasaru: “To me it embodies what I believe can happen when everyone works together to support families. It means that while many say we cannot improve things we really can. Helen Calvert and I always refer to the starfish story because if we all just make small changes they add up to big change. Always believe you can make a difference because you can.
Personally #MatExp has helped me so much. As many of you know I had PTSD from a terrible birth experience and poor care. #MatExp has given me hope that we can prevent this happening and we can make sure that families are treated with our ‘heart values’. It has helped in my healing, enabled me to meet some amazing people, make changes in my local trust and also further my work to raise awareness around perinatal mental health.
What I love is the passion, the genuine want to improve things for families and the fact that it comes from the heart. Any of you that know Gill and Flo will know this is be true. Thank you everyone and remember you can be the change you want to see.”

Gill Phillips

Gill was worried about the limitations of Twitter when it came to explaining what #MatExp means to her, but started by sharing this article from The Edge.  You don’t have to ask for permission to make change!

Flo

Cathy Brewster: “What I love about #MatExp is the coming together of people from diverse backgrounds. As a parent I have been able to directly talk to midwives, obstetricians, commissioners, researchers, MSLCs etc. about homebirth and have gained unique perspective and insights from them all. And I hope they may have gained something useful from me too. #MatExp certainly made it easy for me to get our homebirth posters out there and it is wonderful to see them being used all over the place. The other thing I love about #MatExp is that it’s a platform for learning. It has opened my eyes to so many new maternity issues that I knew nothing about. So a big thank you from me to #MatExp”

Sue

Flo2

Action

Jeannie

Jude

Surbiton

Susanne

I had shared some wonderful blogs in advance of the chat, this one from Emma Jane Sasaru “Why The Wonderful #MatExp Has Given Me Hope”, and this from Victoria Morgan “Reflecting on #MatExp and the Impact it is Having”.

A bit more from Facebook:

Georgie

Lucy Ruddle: “I found it really useful when I was pregnant, to discuss the choices I had and why certain things were offered / what various hasty discussions with HCPs actually meant etc. So pretty much, a really useful source of good information.

Gill Skene

Anna

Anna2

Bronwen

Gill Stellar

Read Gill’s Stellar story here!

Sarah

Louise

Bronwen2

Surbiton2

Susan Parker: “Even though I haven’t been involved for the longest time, for me it’s about parents being able to share their stories and for HCPs to be able to listen and reflect. It’s about sharing information and collaborating. And at times it’s about having a bit of a debate about a certain topic – which is of course a great thing to listen to a different viewpoint that you may not have considered.
On my radar were things like compassionate care, mental health and a mother’s choice. But my eyes have been opened to way more than that because I hadn’t previously experienced those issues, but I can talk to women who have and learn from them. I feel a blog post coming on (but maybe at some point in the future!) would love to do more with #MatExp.”

heart

Edie

Mandy

Sally

Michelle

Michelle’s wonderful blog post about what the Bromley MSLC #WhoseShoes event meant to her can be found here. And Bromley MSLC had got their thoughts in ahead of time:

Bromley

MSLC

Greenwich

Susanne3

CofC

Lemons

What is is about lemons?!  Find out here.

Flo4

Have you seen Flo’s amazing Lithotomy Challenge? Read about it here. Amazing to see the people who got involved!

Digity

Natalie Finn: “For me it’s knowledge, understanding, support and passion. As an aspiring midwife, I want to extend & broaden my knowledge and there truly is a wealth here. As a mother of 4, I have knowledge of pregnancy/labour/birth, but simply from my perspective and reading others experiences, feedback and action taken interests me immensely. To be a well rounded midwife, I feel I need to see things from all aspects and perspectives, the mothers/families most importantly. Equally my entire maternity experience has been wonderfully positive largely down to having the same wonderful midwife for 6 pregnancies, 2 losses and 4 births over the span of 8 years!! I’m passionate about normalizing birth as a whole as well as home birth, breastfeeding (despite being a reluctant bottle feeding mum!), continuity of care. I also value the level of passion and support shown in this group. No question is too difficult, the cup of #MatExp runs over with understanding and it’s rare to find a community such as this that just so NICE!

Rita2

Gill

Gill2

JFDI

JFDI2

JFDI3

JFDI4

Look what happens when you JFDI! I didn’t ask permission to do the #MatExp Survey!

Michelle2

Jenny

Deirdre

Gill Phillips made this wonderful film which also demonstrates what #MatExp means to her.

At the end of the day it’s all about women and families.

Rita

Because some things never change.

Ur

What does #MatExp mean to you?

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Improvement

TeamWork

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WhoseShoes Confirmed That My Shoes Have Climbed A Mountain

This post is from Michelle Quashie, and originally appeared on her blog site Strong Since Birth.  Our thanks to Michelle for agreeing for it to be reposted here.

Michelle

The day had finally arrived! After contributing to #MatExp and interacting with many conversations surrounding ‘WhoseShoes’ throughout the year, I was finally going to experience the magic in real life.

Laura, the chair of our MSLC has written a fantastic post that captures the excitement of the day perfectly, you can read it here: When WhoseShoes Came To The PRUH

I was not disappointed, the day was everything I had dreamed of,  but for me it was so much more.

I was asked to open the event by sharing my Maternity Experience. I have spoke at several maternity training events in the past but my audience has always been Midwives. I was aware that this was a multi discipline training event and it was to be the first time I would share my story in such detail with Obstetricians and everyone else involved in Maternity. The thought made me feel anxious but I knew how important this opportunity was.

I had planned to stay in control and not let the emotions attached to my experience be displayed in the form of tears. It was so important to me to remain composed and in control.

My heart pounded through the showing of the MatExp film, this film moves me every time. It is so powerful and very thought provoking. Sadly I can resonate with many of the situations displayed in the film. I knew I was about to be discussing some of those memories any minute with all those surrounding me.

My name was called and I made my way to the front with my heart pounding. I decided to be honest and share how I was feeling with the room.

‘Please bare with me, I am feeling very nervous. I’m sure once I start talking I will warm up and I will be fine!’

Automatically I felt more relaxed and felt more able to share my story without the anxiety overruling my thoughts.

Michelle1

It’s amazing how every time I share my experience it comes out slightly different, or I find myself saying things that I hadn’t thought of before? I had missed a couple of important bits out but neither the less I was very happy with the way I had presented and gauging by the feeling of emotion in the room I had touched the hearts of nearly everyone around me. For the first time I was able to keep my tears to myself even though I had noted that tears were shed by many in response. The room fell silent but the atmosphere spoke volumes.

I wasn’t aware of the tweets that were being circulated on social media but looking at them them later along with the emails I had received It confirmed that my talk was a positive part of the day.

Michelle2

“Also a massive well done to Michelle for her heartfelt and emotional story, I could see it touched many people as there were certainly a few tears in the room. That took huge courage to stand there in front of so many people and share such a personal experience and to tell it so well. Huge WELL DONE Michelle.”

We began to play the the game and interesting discussions were had in response to the thought provoking questions that are key to the WhoseShoes success.

Michelle3

Some of the discussions that stick in my mind were:

  1. A woman wanted a home birth but her husband wasn’t convinced. We had discussed that there wasn’t enough support or information given during antenatal care to ensure that the couple felt safe,supported and empowered to fulfil the woman’s birth choice.
  2. Consultant Obstetricians are normally addressed by other members of their team using their title i.e., Sir, Mr, Mrs or Miss as a mark of respect. I may be wrong but it feels hierarchical, unlike the power slogan and barrier breaker behind WhoseShoes and #MatExp ‘No Hierarchy, just ordinary people’.
  3. It was also discussed that consultants were on site until 9 pm, after that they are on call for emergency situations only. Now I understand why during my appointment to discuss my VBAC, the registrar said ‘ I mean, we don’t know when you will go into labour or who will be on duty should you rupture’. I now understand that my birth choices were  influenced by staffing levels at the hospital.
  4. Other key themes were Empathy, Language, supporting and facilitating informed decision making and just how important it was for everyone to be cared for individually based on their individual situation and needs.
  5. Midwives are able to have time to build a relationship with women whereas doctors are often called for the emergency situation and do their best to resolve the medical issue as it arises. This can sometimes make it hard for them to be able to connect with the woman that they are caring for and are not always able to fully appreciate the long lasting effects the experience can have on a woman.

The day was coming to an end and Anna gave us fabulous evaluation of our morning using the comments that came from the discussion at each table. It was fabulous to visualise the discussion using the graphic that Anna had been working on through out the morning.

Michelle4

We each made an individual pledges. Here is my pledge:

“To provide a platform for women to share their Maternity experience.  I would like to ensure that women’s voices are heard as part of training and development.”

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I am currently planning a conference called ‘Women’s Voices’. More details will be available soon.

As the morning came to an end and people were leaving someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned round and my tummy flipped. The face before me took me straight to a place of feeling vulnerable, feeling panicky.

‘Michelle it was me wasn’t it?’

Stood before me was the registrar that I had my consultation for my vba2c with. Unbeknown to my self and the organisers we had shared the morning. I had shared an experience that changed my life but had also been a time that left me feeling scared, vulnerable, isolated and questioning my mental health. The person that was responsible for those feelings was standing here in front of me, for a moment the feelings came flooding back, I battled to keep them contained.

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She apologised for the way she had cared for me. She admitted that she had been wrong and has since ensured that she was fully aware of her professional guidance. She was now fully supportive of  women’s choice regarding their birth and ensured me that since having to write a statement in response to my complaint, she is fully aware of the impact of the care she provides a woman.

She actually thanked me for highlighting the error of her ways promising me it had changed her attitudes. I could see that she was overwhelmed with emotion and had spoke to me honestly. She asked if she could hug me and we both held each other for comfort.

I told her that I admired her for taking the time to come a talk to me and for apologising. I also explained that I was aware that she was not entirely to blame for the care I had received and I now understood that her response to me wanting a vaginal birth after two caesareans was due to the cultural belief of the trust she worked in.

It was clear that my birth wishes would not be supported and neither would anyone wanting to support me at that time. I know this because many attempts were made to provide me with the support I needed and no one stepped out of their comfort zone to provide me with the support I needed with regards me birth choices. As a result I had no choice but to transfer my care.

She empathised and promised me that as a result of my experience things were changing.

We said our goodbyes and I was trying very hard to contain my emotion that the meeting had evoked.

A consultant midwife that has walked by my side through this maternity experience and others and who has been a pillar of support to me came to see me. ‘Are you OK Michelle?’

The flood gates open and I broke down. I couldn’t talk at that moment. I was just overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn’t make sense of it at the time but now I think I can.

That meeting with the registrar brought some closure. I admire her ability to acknowledge the error of her ways.

The meeting took me back and reminded me of the scared women I once was sitting in her office, trying to persuade her that I could give birth, pleading with them to allow me. Feeling so horrible when it was highlighted that I had never given birth and they wasn’t sure if I could. I was subjected to a number of negative comments that effected my mental well being and left me questioning my sanity. Comments that left my family feeling unable to support my decisions in fear of my safety. it was a meeting that left me feeling isolated.

Here I sat after coming full circle with the same women but this time I was a different woman. I am a now a woman who has had the most amazing journey and have achieved some incredible things;

I gave birth, not only did I give birth but I bloody rocked that labour ward!

I came back and I told the story, I sang it from the rooftops!

I learnt to believe in me and my abilities.

I joined their MSLC and contributed to so many fantastic improvements within the Maternity service.

I have spoke at training events within maternity with an aim to improve maternity care for women.

I have written and had my views published here and in The Practising Midwife .

I have contributed to #MatExp campaign and connected with some fantastic people as a result.

I have met, received support and been inspired by many fantastic people. too many to mention.

The realisation that my shoes have climbed a mountain has happened!

I received the following email from a Consultant Obstetrician following the Whose Shoes event. It confirmed that this journey has been worth every little step:

“Dear Michelle,

I just wanted to reiterate how touched I was by your story and how impressed I was by the way you delivered it. You will be responsible for improving the practise of every obstetrician in that room today which in the end will improve the care of tens of thousands of women.

If anyone is amazing it is you!”

This is one of many mountains.

I hope to be climbing a mountain near you soon.

 

Michelle Quashie

2016

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#MatExp Flyers and Stickers Are Available!

Want to get out there and spread the word about #MatExp?

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Order some flyers and stickers! They’re the ones we used at NHS Expo, as per the image above.

I created the artwork and ordered the flyers and stickers through Instantprint. You can contact them on 0191 2727 327 or email office@instantprint.co.uk, quoting reference number 1708648. They will source the artwork for you and liaise with you to make sure it is what you need. You just need to let them know how many you would like (and of course arrange payment!).

The flyer is A5 size, with this image on one side:

The #MatExp information poster!
The #MatExp information poster!

and the #MatExp logo on the reverse

MatExp logo
MatExp logo

The stickers say…

MatExpblogbadge

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#FlamingJune – #Matexp igniting the flames to improve maternity experiences

Wow what a month its has been!  The whole of June has been #FlamingJune, a month when everyone was asked to share actions big or small to show ways they are going to improve maternity experiences. Everyone whether a mother, a doula, a midwife, blogger or campaigner was invited to post actions on the Matexp facebook page, the twitter hashtag #Matexp or the Matexp website.

What a response! In fact there have been so many actions it is impossible to list them all. But here is a little round up of the general ideas behind the actions.

LISTEN, this was mentioned by so many and shows how important is it that women are listened to, in pregnancy, during birth and afterwards. Many voiced that this simple action alone would have improved their experience and many voiced that listening to women more was their action.

ADVOCATE, for women, for families, by Blogs, campaigns, education classes and working with local maternity liaison service committees many spoke of ways they will seek to support families. Some will be doing so be simply voicing their own experience.

CHOICE, campaign for, raise awareness of, make sure women are aware of and given choices and that their choices are listened to, respected.  Some actions involved women simply educating themselves on the choices available to them, while others spoke about raising awareness of options and choices and how to get support.

SUPPORT, for breastfeeding, families with babies in NNU or on paediatric wards, perinatal mental health and for families that have lost their precious babies. Also how healthcare professionals can all work together to make support for families better. There were so many amazing ideas and actions on support and again many voiced how important support is.

Some said that their actions were to become midwives and health visitors and to be on the frontline of supporting women and their families, to change cultures and improve maternity services.

During #FlamingJune we have discussed, tongue ties, infant feeding, baby loss, perinatal wellbeing, birth trauma, medication while breastfeeding, NICU, low birth weight, PND and much more. These were based around the Matexp twitter Alphabet.

This month saw us celebrate fathers day and the importance of dads to families. We saw beautiful pictures on the Matexp facebook page of dads doing skin to skin, holding, playing and loving their families. It was so moving, and truly showed how valuable they are and all partners, to the wellbeing of families.

This month was also #celebratebreastfeeding week. Again we saw amazing pictures and comments of the good support that families have had, but also many posts on the lack of support that so often seems the situation many families face. With many areas finding cuts are being made to breastfeeding support it is a timely reminder of how important it is that feeding support is part of a good maternity experience.

#FlamingJune saw the release of the first, of we hope many, videos on Matexp. Florence, Gill and Sarah in a really moving video shared with us all how and why Matexp started, the whoseshoes workshops and the impact it has had on services.

Also the first Matexp workshop to be held outside of London in Guernsey which is so exciting. Hopefully workshops will start to spread all over the UK and who knows eventually, maybe the whole world.

So as we reach the end of #FlamingJune what now?  Well if you haven’t made an action you still can, it doesn’t have to be a big change it can be as simple as thinking about the language we use around a pregnant women or to share our story. If we have made an action, keep going to see it through. Every small change we make as individuals makes a difference. It maybe that your action will be hard to make happen, or will take a long time, but don’t give up because even just changing the maternity experience for one family makes it so worthwhile.

There are more plans ahead for the coming months, so much to look forward to. Thank you for the journey so far, for your actions, thoughts, comments and support. Matexp puts families at the heart, its overall theme is kindness and compassionate care. It is a safe place for everyone to voice their views. So take a look and get involved in making maternity experiences better for everyone.

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Emma Jane Sasaru

@ESasaruNHS

 

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#MatExp Book Club

One of the beauties of #MatExp and our ‘Whose shoes’ maternity workshops is to start to see each other as equals and as people , breaking down assumptions about roles and views. Last week I got into an exchange on Twitter that I believe exemplified this. Catherine @BerksMaternity suggested that those involved in #MatExp might like to read ‘Birth: A History’ by Tina Cassidy. I think she was surprised when replied that I had read it twice over its a brilliant book that my mum gave me. It’s a fascinating history of birth through the ages. In fact it’s there on our Pinterest maternity whose shoes board as I tweeted about it last August. We then started an exchange of other books and a comment about the importance of reading & reflection.

This Twitter exchange made me think about the idea of a #MatExp book group idea. We all share a common interest of improving maternity experience and with it the desire to break down barriers between people so we can work constructively together. There maybe other books that we share a love for, there may be books or extracts that are useful in prompting reflection and thought about how we perceive others. I can immediately think of all sorts of books that influence my thinking that I could share & I’m sure others can too. There are some obvious books to share an comment on those directly about maternity such as Sheena’s @SagefemmeSB wonderful collaborative book ROAR. There are books that fact or fiction that have nothing directly to do with maternity but that influence the way we think. To use a quote from one of my all time favourite books:

All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.” Mr. Darcy

So I would like to suggest that together we ‘improve our minds’ by sharing some of those books some may be books we recommend are worth reading others may be about sharing the impact they have had on us. To kick us off I will share two.

A Glasgow Manual of Obstetrics Edited by SJ Cameron 1936

I found this in a second hand book shop many years ago & I love to dip in and out of its pages. It has some fascinating diagrams , horrific descriptions of destructive procedures and is like a window into the past. It shows some things never change like the mechanisms of labour and others have changed completely. One of my favourite paragraphs describes not getting out of bed until ten days postnatal and not going outside until week four. This book is the reason why one of my favourite cards in ‘whose shoes’ MatExp workshop asks ‘what do you think we do now that we will look back on and wonder why’ a question promoted by Gill’s mum recounting use of castor oil in her time!

The Hand that First Held Mine by Maggie O’Farrell

I love many of Maggie O’Farrell’s books my favourite is actually ‘The vanishing act of Esme Lennox’ more of which another time. In The hand that first held mine she writes a very powerful description in the first few chapters of a woman’s experience of a massive obstetric haemorrhage and the immediate postnatal period afterwards. It is an incredibly terrifying description both of the events but also her confusion with the well meaning midwife, health visitors etc who come and do her home visits afterwards. I highly recommend dipping into it and have sometimes read excerpts as part of training sessions. 

Books

 So there are two books to get people thinking, I’ve picked at random there are many more I can and will suggest. So calling all #MatExp friends what books do you recommend or what do you get out of them that you could add to the #MatExp book group conversation ?

 

Florence Wilcock
Divisional Director Specialist Services
Kingston Hospital NHS Foundation Trust

 

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#Matexp – Emotional Wellbeing – what do families really need?

 Supporting families – Emotional Wellbeing


#Flamingjune is well under way and there has been so many wonderful conversations taking place on the Matexp facebook group. As part of this months campaign, ACTIONS to improve services have very much been at the forefront with everyone sharing ideas to make sure support given to families is the best it can be.

With this in mind one of the subjects discussed was Emotional Wellbeing. Many shared heartfelt stories, and personal experiences as well as ideas that would have made a difference them and their families.

Matexp asked;

  1. How much do you feel your pregnancy, birth and postnatal care affected your emotional wellbeing?
  2. How do you think we can help prepare women and their partners for the impact that birth and caring for a new baby has on emotional wellbeing ?
  3. What supported or helped you to protect your emotional wellbeing?
  4. What can be done to help health care professionals be able to support families better?

Many commented on how we often under estimate the impact having a new baby has on a family. It was said that ‘adapting from working life to being at home was overwhelming’, ‘that often dads are working long hours and need support too’ and having somewhere to go to talk to others and relax was vital. Emotional support was mentioned as being a “basic need” for families.

One comment noted that ‘real life’ parenting needs to be discussed at antenatal contacts. “We are bombarded with the prefect images of parenthood, I don’t think people are prepared for the realities of parenthood – being totally exhausted but this little person still needs feeding and there is no milk in the fridge so you cant even have a coffee to wake up you”.

Another commented’ ” professionals need to understand the stresses which parents face not just with the birth, but financial, logistical etc”. What suggestions were made that would help? “By looking through the eyes of the patient, and trying to see things from their point of view”. Yes walking in another’s shoes so to speak showing empathy, and understanding helps provide support that protects the emotional wellbeing of families.

Many voiced feeling left alone, isolated and ‘fending for themselves’ after the birth of their babies and how this impacted their emotional wellbeing. Many felt afraid to voice they were struggling with motherhood and kept it to themselves worrying they be dismissed or viewed as ‘failing’.

Others voiced how important good support from health visitors, peer support and support groups was to their emotional wellbeing and not just for mom but dads too. In fact is was mentioned how important it is to ask dads how they are doing too!

Again and again support was mentioned for birth trauma and loss of a baby. Things such as professional counselling to be available as standard and peer support on wards and units. As well as health professionals knowing where to signpost families for support including local charities and national organisations.

One comment read “the single biggest thing would have been to treat us respectfully”. Very sobering.

So what were some of the actions that came out of the discussion to help with emotional wellbeing?

  • Maternity units to have specially trained staff to care for those that have suffered birth trauma, loss or mental health issues.
  • To remember that care involves emotional support not just physical.
  • Peer support for families on wards and in NICU.
  • Specialist counselling services available as part of post-natal after care and on NICU unit so families do not have to leave their babies.
  • Antenatal support on ‘real life’ caring for a baby, as well as how to look after their emotional wellbeing.
  • After birth de-briefs for sharing of experiences both good and bad to help improve care given.
  • Remember that dads need support too.
  • Health professionals to be aware of support available to families so they can signpost.
  • For all staff supporting families to show kindness, compassion and empathy and provide care that is patient-centred meeting individual needs.
  • Most of all treat families with respect. “letting mums and dads know that being good is good enough – they don’t need to be perfect”.

Emotional wellbeing is important for families, by sharing experiences, listening and working together we can help improve the maternity experience for all.

There is beauty in giving to others

Click here to add more actions

Emma Jane Sasaru

@ESasaruNHS

 

 

 

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