The #MatExp Journey

“I was told I was going to have a big baby….” And then what happened?

12 September 2015 by Helen Calvert / Birth Trauma, Caesarean Sections, Informed Choice, Language, Pregnancy Complications, The #MatExp Journey / Comments Off

A while ago on a Facebook birth forum I saw the phrase “you won’t grow a baby too big for you to birth”. It was a familiar phrase as it was something I would hear regularly on the homebirth e-group I was a member of back in 2010 when I was pregnant with my first. Back then I accepted it as the truth, but having been involved in #MatExp for nearly a year I have learned that few things to do with birth are that simple. So I asked the question on the #MatExp Facebook group:

What followed was a fascinating discussion. Information was shared from lots of different quarters, and evidence was linked to. Experienced birth practitioners shared their views and a few themes started to appear. All along I knew I was intending to write up the discussion as a blog post so I was trying to keep up with the information and understand what was being said. As I opened up links to studies, trials, journal articles and so on my heart sank as I am not the best at analysing that kind of thing and it seemed at first glance that the evidence shared was somewhat contradictory. So I was concerned that I would end up inadvertently talking rubbish in this post.

And then I realised that this is exactly the problem. I am a woman of childbearing age who has had an education to degree level, English is my first language and I discuss birth and maternity pretty much every day. When we talk about informed choice we mean sharing all of the evidence plus the benefit of experience with pregnant women and their families, so that they can go through it and make their own decisions. Yet if I were writing this today as a woman who had been told she was likely to have a “big” baby I would be confused. And a little scared.

So it’s a good job I didn’t know any of this when I confidently went on to give birth to my 8lbs 13oz son on all fours on our bathroom floor.

From http://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-for-induction-or-c-section-for-big-baby/

Let’s pretend for a moment that I am in my third trimester and have been told by my midwife that she suspects baby is going to be a big ‘un. Probably a bouncing 9lbs tot. Before I go down the route of “doing” anything about that, or amending my birth plans, I have asked the #MatExp group for some information. What have I discovered?

Well, firstly we need to know a little bit more about this fictitious me. Do I have gestational diabetes? Am I classed as overweight? No? Okay then, we can stick with our issue being only the predicted size of my baby and keep questions of GD and BMI for another day if we may. Similarly, we will assume that I am physically able. So why are people sucking their teeth and looking concerned that baby might be of a generous size?

This is where we come to shoulder dystocia. “Shoulder dystocia is when the baby’s head has been born but one of the shoulders becomes stuck behind the mother’s pubic bone, delaying the birth of the baby’s body. If this happens, extra help is usually needed to release the baby’s shoulder. In the majority of cases, the baby will be born promptly and safely.” (From https://www.rcog.org.uk/en/patients/patient-leaflets/shoulder-dystocia/)

In the majority of cases, the baby will be born promptly and safely? So what’s all the fuss about then? Well let’s look at this passage from the abstract of this article:

“Shoulder dystocia remains an unpredictable obstetric emergency, striking fear in the hearts of obstetricians both novice and experienced. While outcomes that lead to permanent injury are rare, almost all obstetricians with enough years of practice have participated in a birth with a severe shoulder dystocia and are at least aware of cases that have resulted in significant neurologic injury or even neonatal death. This is despite many years of research trying to understand the risk factors associated with it, all in an attempt primarily to characterize when the risk is high enough to avoid vaginal delivery altogether and prevent a shoulder dystocia, whose attendant morbidities are estimated to be at a rate as high as 16–48%. The study of shoulder dystocia remains challenging due to its generally retrospective nature, as well as dependence on proper identification and documentation. As a result, the prediction of shoulder dystocia remains elusive, and the cost of trying to prevent one by performing a cesarean delivery remains high. While ultimately it is the injury that is the key concern, rather than the shoulder dystocia itself, it is in the presence of an identified shoulder dystocia that occurrence of injury is most common.

The majority of shoulder dystocia cases occur without major risk factors. Moreover, even the best antenatal predictors have a low positive predictive value. Shoulder dystocia therefore cannot be reliably predicted, and the only preventative measure is cesarean delivery.”

Ah, okay. So whilst MOST cases are not a problem, when there is a problem it can be very serious. And most experienced obstetricians will have seen this happen, inevitably influencing their perception of the risks involved. The teeth sucking is a bit more understandable now.

Apparently if I have a small pelvis it is more likely that baby will get his shoulders stuck. How do you know if you have a small pelvis? Small compared to what or whom? I have no idea but it appears to be a consideration. One birth professional observed that “to me that ‘big’ is subjective in a lot of cases. A 7lb baby could be big to one woman whereas a 10lb baby could be average to another. There needs to be far more than just the picture provided by a (often inaccurate) scan. Woman’s own birthweight for example, her stature etc.” It was mentioned that pelvimetry used to be widely used but has been abandoned in favour of scans, due to a Cochrane review that found these measurements did more harm than good.

There is a higher likelihood of shoulder dystocia in bigger babies, that much is undisputed. Yet the language used when discussing this risk makes a big difference to how a pregnant woman might view the risk. Contrasted with the passage above is this from Evidence-Based Birth:

I suspect as with so many birth choices, women are likely to get the reassuring language from midwives who have confidently dealt with many instances of stuck shoulders, and more wary language from obstetricians who have seen first hand what can go tragically wrong.

So in summary shoulder dystocia is more likely in bigger babies but on the whole it can’t be predicted and can usually be dealt with. It turns out that there are arbitrary cut offs for recommending Caesarean to prevent SD – 5kg in a non-diabetic woman. That means nothing to me but a quick Google tells me that is an 11lbs baby. My hypothetical nine pounder doesn’t warrant an automatic recommendation for a c-section then. So far so good.

But what position is my baby in? This is an important factor. I would argue that all pregnant women should be aware of foetal positioning and how to optimise it, but in this case it is particularly important as a malpositioned big baby could cause trouble. Let’s assume though that I have been on spinningbabies.com, haven’t been reclining on the sofa, have been doing headstands for nine months or whatever it is that is recommended. Baby is now head down and engaged and we’re ready for the off.

At this point it’s good to know that there is no evidence to suggest that it hurts more to give birth to a big baby. I cannot comment as my firstborn is the only child I have birthed vaginally so have nothing to compare it to. But the midwives on the group have been reassuring that being predicted a “big” baby does not mean increased pain in labour. Good stuff.

What I haven’t done (but what might have been recommended to me) – I have not had a growth scan. It appears that growth scans should be used to identify small babies (a discussion for another day no doubt) but not big ones. One group member commented “Ultrasound scans become increasingly unreliable the further along in pregnancy they are performed. Weight is an ESTIMATION can be up to 25% out either way. They base it on the abdominal circumference, head circumference & femur length – try doing it with yourself & see how accurate it is!”

A birth professional went on to say “Growth scans are pretty hopeless in the third trimester – the only thing that is useful is a regular plotting of growth to try to identify a sudden growth spurt that could indicate a problem. A one off growth scan late on in pregnancy basically just leads to unhelpful fears on all sides.”

Which begs the question, how do we identify the potential 11lbs babies who “require” a c-section birth?

So I haven’t allowed anyone to worry me further with a most likely inaccurate scan reading. We think baby is going to be big but not so big that I am going to be encouraged to have an elective c-section, so I’m happy to go ahead with my vaginal birth.

This is where we come to the issue that dominated the discussion. The position that women labour in can make a HUGE difference to the outcome when they are birthing a large baby. Labouring on their back is most likely to be unhelpful. Labouring on all fours is most likely to enable them to birth without intervention. Certainly my experience – I could not bear to be in any position other than kneeling up for my entire labour, simply could not bear it. Lying down was absolutely out of the question.

One group member had a wealth of information to contribute and commented “There’s plenty of evidence to support programs like birth ball use, not just gentle bouncing but using as a structured exercise plus also designing maternity units/rooms to encourage movement and position changes and upright movement.”

A midwife explained “I worked with a lovely obstetrician a few years ago (I have worked with many wonderful obstetricians). She was leading the skills and drills component for obstetric emergencies of the yearly mandatory training. We were practicing what to do in the case of a shoulder dystocia with a mannequin. She looked at me and said, of course we all know that if we do this (turning the model over in to what would be an all fours position) we wouldn’t have to be doing this at all.”

And one of our obstetricians added “in terms of labour progression, size is not nearly so important as baby’s positioning and flexion.”

The impact of pain relief was also mentioned: “Of course this is impacted by maternal position too, often compounded by an epidural that softens the pelvic floor muscles reducing the baby’s ability to rotate on the pelvic floor.”

Let’s recap. My midwife has said that it is her experienced opinion that I am going to have a big baby. I have declined a growth scan but we are both confident that baby won’t be topping 11lbs. So we’re going for a vaginal birth, and have done everything we can to ensure baby is in a good position. I am then being encouraged to be active in labour, labour on all fours and so on. There is no reason to believe that I will experience more pain due to baby’s size. There is an elevated risk of shoulder dystocia but my birth team are trained to deal with that. Hmm, okay, on reflection I would make the same choice I made back in 2011 when I hadn’t had this conversation. Home waterbirth with experienced midwives please! Especially, for me as an individual, “big” babies are normal – I was 9lbs 11oz at birth myself.

Does the above sound like the experience most women have when a big baby is predicted? Let’s ask some real life women shall we? Here I am indebted to the fabulous women on my other Facebook group who have shared their stories with me.

“I was told I would have a big baby. The midwife measured me way off the chart at 36 or 38 weeks can’t remember which. Went for growth scan. Again measured me pretty big. Appointment with consultant, he measured me big. Straight aways did a growth scan. I was then booked in for an induction the following week. Was in from the 25th and had him on 29th (due on 5th July) he was only 8lb 2oz.” What was the reason for the induction? “Not sure. They said as it was my first I probably would go over so as he was measuring big now it could be more of an issue in 3 or 4 weeks.”

“My 1st baby was 9lb 14oz and got stuck with shoulder dystocia and born with the ventouse.” And what positions were you labouring in with baby no. 1? Were you on all fours at all? “No! I believe position/ventouse were what caused her to be stuck! I was dehydrated so they made me stay in the bed on my back to be monitored!”

“I was told my little boy was a big baby and I had to have a growth scan. I was then induced a week early due to his size. He weighed 8lb 15oz and I had a 4th degree tear and had to be rushed to theatre.” What did they say were the risks with him being big? Did they explain why they wanted to induce you? “The explanation for me being induced was if I was left and went over I would have had a tough time, but looking back now I wish I had opted out of being induced as I blame that for the complications.”

“I was measuring big for dates at my midwife appointments from about 24 weeks. I was eventually sent for a scan to rule out polyhydraminos at about 32 weeks. The scan results were ok and showed that my baby’s measurements were on the 95th centile. I was then changed to higher risk consultant led care. They told me it was due to the baby’s size and the increased need for intervention during delivery, e.g. forceps, etc. My baby was predicted to be 9lb 9oz maximum and she was actually 10lb 6oz. I was in slow labour for 6 days. I had to have an oxytocin drip to get me from 7cm but I couldn’t get passed 8cm as her big shoulders meant her head wouldn’t press down on my cervix! As a result of being on the drip, I wasn’t able to get in different positions in labour and was mainly confined to the bed. I then had an emergency c-section due to failure to progress.” How did all the talk of having a “big” baby affect how confident you felt in being able to give birth? “To be honest, it did affect how confident I felt giving birth. I was then very nervous at the prospect of tearing or that I’d have difficulties during the birth and would need forceps, etc. I was very worried that something would go wrong. To be honest, I felt very relieved when the consultant said I needed a c-section.”

I commented that I wondered whether that was the reason the mum above struggled to dilate. Rather than failure to progress perhaps her caregivers should be have been labelled with “failure to encourage”.

There was one rather different story, although the mum in question was surprised by how her consultant’s advice varied from what others were experiencing: “Was told based on my daughter being 10lb that my little boy would be big. The midwife referred me to a consultant as my fundal height was bigger than even my little girl was! Tested me for GD which I didn’t have. Consultant said he was going to do absolutely nothing about it which varied massively from my peers at nearby hospitals who were being induced early. He said inducing a large baby is dangerous as they’re more likely to get stuck and if I got my little girl out this one would be fine! Bit worried but I trusted him.”

And what of those women who had not been told to expect a big baby?

“I had a 9lb 4oz baby but wasn’t expecting him to be ‘big’ I had a tiny bump and was told he was only going to be about 7lb. I had him naturally with no complications at all. A few stitches externally but that was all.”

“My 2nd baby was 9lbs 6oz and no one knew he would be that big as my first was 7lb 11oz. Labour was very quick and vaginally delivered with 1 stitch.”

“If 9lb2oz is classed as a big baby then mine was! He was 13 days over so probably wouldn’t have been so big if I’d gone on time. Nobody told me he was going to be big at any of the extra monitoring appts I had the week before he arrived all on his own, no help, drugs or hospital. I did tear slightly but midwife was happy for me not to go to hospital if I didn’t want to.”

“I wasn’t told I was going to have a big baby, I was tested for diabetes at one point because my bump had grown quite quickly but I didn’t have it. My little boy weighed 9lb 15oz, I was in labour for 6 and a half hours and didn’t have any complications. I had a few stitches afterwards but nothing major.”

What can we say in conclusion? When a baby is identified as potentially being “big” are all families given the information that we have discussed here? Do all birth professionals agree with the general thrust of this post or have some important points been missed or misrepresented? And if I have got it all wrong what does that say for the idea of “informed choice”? Because this is my best understanding of the issues following a detailed discussion with experienced birth professionals. There are plenty of other birth stories from the mums on my group which make it clear that women are routinely being encouraged down the route of induction without fully understanding why, only that baby is going to be “big” and that is some kind of a problem. And so many of these stories end in instrumental deliveries, emergency c-sections and, at worst, traumatic births. Would it not be preferable for women to have the issues fully explained to them and to be encouraged to have an active birth where, in all likelihood, they will be capable of giving birth to their child?

I am just glad that my “big” baby is here, safe and well, and now in his second week at primary school. Decisions always seem simple in hindsight.

Some of the links that were shared as part of the discussion not already linked to above:

Shoulder Dystocia – RCOG green top guidelines

Rebozo Technique for Foetal Malposition in Labour

The Effect of Birth Ball Exercises during Pregnancy on Mode of Delivery

Reducing Length of Labour and Caesarean Surgery Rate Using a Peanut Ball for Women Labouring with an Epidural

After Shoulder Dystocia: Managing the Subsequent Pregnancy and Delivery

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When “Normal” Seems To Be The Hardest Word

5 September 2015 by Helen Calvert / Informed Choice, Language, Pregnancy Complications, The #MatExp Journey / 11 Comments

On Wednesday I attended the NHS Expo in Manchester as part of the #MatExp team. During our session a few of us stood up to explain what the campaign means to us. My personal bit went as follows:

It is this combination and collaboration of so many different people, from across the maternity world, that makes #MatExp so exciting to me. So many conversations are being had within established communities – midwifery conferences, positive birth groups, obstetric organisations, mother & baby groups, but with this campaign these communities are coming together. And as I say, we are not shying away from the difficult conversations.

With this in mind, I decided to broach some subjects on the #MatExp Facebook group that could be considered “difficult”. I was unsure with which to start, and then this tweet from Emma Sasaru launched a conversation this morning and I just went with it.

What has followed today has been a thought-provoking discussion that has challenged many of my assumptions and made me change my mind more than once. As with the best discussions, I am still not sure what my conclusions are but it has given me new perspectives. The original question posed was:

The blog posts I refer to are Sheryl’s birth story on my own blog, and Southwark Belle’s piece entitled “Normal Not Normal“. I then went on to observe that when I hear the phrase “normal” birth I am imagining that people simply mean “vaginal” birth. Is it as simple as that?

Well no, no it isn’t. It quickly became apparent that there are a couple of definitions of “normal birth” available. One group member explained that “Interestingly, one of the first definitions of normal birth came in 1997 from AIMS, the radical women’s organisation, who defined it as ‘a physiological birth where the baby is delivered vaginally following a labour which has not been altered by technological interventions’. So this was a movement that was led from a women’s organisation to counter the over-medicalisation of birth.”

And from this 2010 publication:

And from this in 2007:

It seemed that the word “normal” had specific meanings for groups researching and monitoring maternity outcomes, and that this was a discussion that had been had many a time. Indeed, Sheena tweeted this morning

So why is it such an important and emotive discussion? Well because we have learned time and again in #MatExp LANGUAGE MATTERS. Words have huge power and different people understand things in different ways, depending on their experience, perspective and knowledge of the subject in hand. Declaring that some types of birth are “normal” begs the question what are the other types of birth then? And if the opposite of “normal” is “abnormal” are we comfortable telling women that is how we define their experiences?

It was clear that for many women the term “normal” is perceived as carrying a value judgement. It is not simply a medical or scientific definition, it is a statement about them and their experience that allows for feelings of failure and inadequacy (as with so much to do with the massively emotive subjects of maternity care). Comments included:

“where I work in a different area of healthcare, it’s understood that everybody’s normal is different, my normal vary vastly from your normal, but there is a range of normal we would expect that to be in. Having babies is different imo because you are doing something you don’t do very often so it’s difficult to define your ‘normal’ and where that might fall on the large scale of normal within birth. It can lead to people feeling inadequate.”

“the feeling of doing it wrong, not experiencing a normal birth can put people off a second time. A friend of mine is terrified because last time it all “went wrong” and she’s adamant that she won’t get pregnant again unless she can have an elective section because her body can’t do it properly.”

“Who has set the definition for normal. How do we know what normal is? How did women birth 20, 50, 100, 1000, 5000 years ago? What about culture? What is normal here may not be normal in other lands, races etc. Normal is an awful word because it gives the idea everything else is abnormal so therefore not right or not as good or missing the mark. But that is harmful label to add to a birth experience for many many reasons.”

“By terms such as ‘normal’ we make women believe that if they don’t attain that they have not done something they should. That in turn may make them feel they have ‘failed’.”

Emma kindly provided a dictionary definition of the term and observed that “its definition doesn’t relate to birth in any way”.

And of course there is also the fact that our definitions here do not match up. The definitions of “normal” birth explained above are not currently “standard, usual, typical or expected” in the UK as per the dictionary definition of the word.

One doula observed “Normal is the wrong word to use because right now a positive physiological vaginal birth is NOT the norm”. So is there any value in naming it as such when by a simple dictionary definition that could not be further from the truth? I think there might be, but more of that later.

BirthChoiceUK addresses the issue on their website (read the full page here) and explain that “The term normal birth is not meant to be judgmental in any way. We are instead trying to produce some measure of how much technological intervention is currently used in birth. These statistics of course do not tell us anything about a woman’s experience of birth which is likely to be of far more importance to her than whether she was induced or had an epidural or had her waters broken. It is hoped that every woman can have a fulfilling and positive experience of birth regardless of the interventions she has received. This is, of course, much harder to measure!”

And where does birth trauma come into all of this? What of the women who have had negative experiences of birth? What can the word “normal” possibly mean to them? And for those women who have had a “normal” birth as defined by the NCT and AIMS, are they still entitled to feel traumatised if their experience was not a positive one? It was discussed at length that so many apparent problems with the language come from individuals conflating the words “normal” and “positive” but throughout society we find people and cultures who believe that the two are one and the same thing. “Normal” is a generally positive term, meaning good things, which is of course a whole discussion in itself. Nevertheless it is easy to see how a woman with a negative birth experience will not thank you for telling her the birth was “normal”, and how a woman who has had a positive experience will be unhappy with the idea that hers was not a “normal” birth.

So apart from the need to gather statistics across maternity units, what other uses does this idea of “normal birth” have? Midwife Jenny Hall was kind enough to explain “The need to differentiate what is ‘normal’ and not does come down to the legal responsibilities of a midwife. A midwife is in law able to care for women without other health professionals until the process moves into areas outside the boundary of ‘normal ‘. She then legally has to refer to someone else for assistance.” There is then an important legal issue here, and other birth professionals on the group emphasised that for them the term held no value judgement at all:

“I think of normal birth as a spontaneous vaginal birth with no intervention at all, but I’m a midwife and we use these terms as classifications rather than attributing any value to them…… When I talk about normal I’m not using it in a judgemental way, just descriptive, but I am mindful that many find this term difficult.”

Yet throughout today I have had the creeping suspicion that two of my viewpoints don’t match up. I was questioning the use of the word “normal” for a maternity experience that is how human females have been designed to birth their children, yet I am constantly banging on about the need to “normalise” breastfeeding. An uncomfortable feeling of double standards was edging up on me. Giving the whole subject a bit more thought, I commented:

For the #MatExp “heart values” please read Emma’s blog post.

This angle is well articulated by Professor Soo Downe in her interview with midwife Sheena Byrom:

Miranda Dodwell of BirthChoiceUK was keen to emphasis the historical perspective: “having been working on the ‘normal birth’ agenda since about 2003, I realise how far we have come to be having this debate.” She recommended further reading in the shape of Practising childbirth activism: a politics of evidence “about the importance of introducing the concept of normal birth in terms of childbirth activism in driving change.” However, she and others were happy to discuss the idea that it may now be time to move on from the concept of “normal birth”, despite “the power it has had in creating a change of perspective towards women’s experience of maternity care“.

If we are to move on from this terminology, what are the alternatives? Both in terms of new words and in terms of new approaches? There were a number of suggestions from birth professionals:

“Unassisted birth would probably be closer to the mark but the meaning is associated with ‘free birthing’ these days. l guess for me ‘normal’ could be what the woman was expecting and not our version of normal.”

“When I hear the ‘normal’ discussion and how heated it gets I don’t have a satisfactory alternative to the word ‘normal’. Physiological?…bit of a mouthful and a challenge to spell. Vaginal? Many struggle to include the word vagina in general conversation so possibly unacceptable?”

“Rather than focussing on ‘normal’ l tend to look at how satisfied the woman is with the outcome. It’s her birth so she should define it.”

“I tend to use words like ‘physiological’ and ‘needed help’ or ‘complicated by’. Rather than normal, which has different connotations.”

“I use SVD (spontaneous vaginal delivery), assisted (instrumental) delivery or Caesarean”

And from parents:

“From the point of view of mums talking to each other about their births… I’d say ‘normal’ is too vague, fairly meaningless, and not generally used. ‘Natural’ is used a lot.”

“‘Physiological’ may be technically correct, but sounds so much more excluding than a two syllable simple Anglo-Saxon word. ‘Natural’ also has a lot of judgemental baggage.”

“Personally, I think maybe the accessibility of the term normal is what’s become problematic about it? ‘Physiological’ seems more medical, so perhaps using this term would prevent women feeling judged?”

But as you can see consensus was hard to come by. Amy Prodgers (@BirthSalford) summarised, I suspect, the feelings of many in the discussion:

As a possible, and remarkably simple, solution, one of the group’s midwives suggested “Why not use the term birth? And let the categories be an additional ‘box to tick’ not together with ‘birth’ am I making any sense??? So ‘birth of baby boy’ (male infant etc etc) then tick, vaginal/forceps/water-pool/home/hospital and so on and so on) – the word birth describes the event – that’s exactly what took place #languagematters. It’s just habit in maternity services, it could easily change – the hospitals/birth centres/ organisations etc could still get the much needed figures”.

Southwark Belle furthered this thought “I think we’re now at a stage where defining one set of choices/circumstances as ‘normal’ / best and using that to set targets just risks swapping one dogma for another. I much prefer treating it all as birth and each intervention individually rather than lumping a whole lot of things in together.”

So is birth just birth? Each instance its own unique set of circumstances and experiences? Can hospital notes and databases possibly be built with this in mind? Can statistics be gathered on this basis? Does the biological, historical way of giving birth need to be normalised to the benefit of families or are all modern options equally valid and ‘normal’?

This comment stands out for me, from Seana McCoy Talbot (an NCT volunteer who is standing for election as NCT President):

“Our starting point always has to be compassion and empathy, but also to know the evidence.
It’s instincts plus knowledge.
Heart and head.
Art and science.”

@HeartMummy 2015

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Putting the Heart into Matexp – Heart Values

31 August 2015 by Emma Sasaru / Continuity of Care, Environment and Facilities, Informed Choice, Language, The #MatExp Journey / 2 Comments

A while ago we decided to pick six words that we felt really summarised Matexp. As with the healthcare six C’s, we very much wanted our values to reflect what we feel is important to a good maternity experience both for families and staff. So with this in mind, the six values we chose were;

Choice

Kindness

Language

Respect

Dignity

Compassion

We set about asking everyone on facebook and twitter what each of the values meant to them.

Choice

Our first word was choice and we knew when it comes to maternity experiences is so important to families. So what did everyone say about choice?

“Choice to me means having the same services and facilities available to all women. Birth experiences shouldn’t be a postcode lottery.”

“Choice to me means being presented with the correct information so you can make an informed decision. An informed decision is an empowered one.”

“Choice means to me, that all women whether low risk or high risk have access to the same facilities & are given the opportunity to make an informed decision to choose how & where they birth without judgement or pressure even if it is not medically advised.”

“Choice to me means that we give families accurate, unbiased info so they can make a informed choice that is right for them. Then support them in that choice.

“Listen, really listen to women and let them pour out their heart and get to know what they need to make their birth what is right for them.”

“Choice is about being given all the information you need to make a decision in an unbiased, non-pressurised way.”

“Choice is being told the benefits and risks associated with each option. Choice is being told the benefits and risks with your alternative options (it’s very rare that there is no alternative option).
Choice is being told what happens if you simply do nothing. Choice is knowing how decisions made now will effect your future, I.e.surgery can have implications on future pregnancies. Choice is being able to consider all the information in relation to your own individual situation/ beliefs/ personal history, allowing time for you to make a rational decision. Choice is having balanced open informative discussions feeling that your decisions are supported and not judged. There is no ‘we are just going to’ or ‘we will’, choice is the individual making the decisions.”

We were reminded of nice guidelines for discussing risks and benefits and also CHOICE top tips for maternity care providers.

Another really interesting point was raised about choice,

“In some circumstances there are no choices, and support needs to be given to those mothers who have had their choices limited or removed.”

Sometimes we may have no choice, in that due to circumstances beyond our control we may have to give birth or accept a situation that is far from the choice we would have made or choices have to be made for the wellbeing of mother and/or baby.

“Following my daughter’s death I have questioned the decisions we made many times wondering if a different choice may have meant she’d lived. In my subsequent pregnancies the feeling of responsibility to make the right choice has at times overwhelmed me and made me very anxious. In lots of ways I’d have preferred to have just been told what was going to happen.”

It was also raised that choice means accepting the consequences of the choices we make, both as staff and as families. Sometimes this can mean impossible questions that may never be answered.

“Sometimes we are given the illusion of choice. How information is presented is so important. Manipulated or coerced compliance can be made to look like choice. Yet, within maternity services, it’s hard to challenge this. Some caregivers reveal their own opinions in how they phrase information – about whether induction, or cs, or epidurals have risks, for example. This sometimes is presented differently to data about home birth, or vbac, or physiological third stage.”

What did become clear was choice must be Clear, unbiased, informed and not an ‘illusion’. That families didn’t want those responsible for their care to manipulate information or data to coerce a choice that they felt was right. Instead information given should allow for families to make choices that were right for them.

Yes when it came to choice, it was evident how important this was to a good maternity experience.

Kindness

Next we chose kindness. While many things matter during birth, simple acts of kindness can leave lasting impressions and mean so much.

“True kindness is something you give without expectation of any kind of return, not even a thank you. It’s instinctive and comes from the heart and will always benefit another heart. You don’t have to touch, smell, see or hear it but it can awaken your senses and light up your soul. It’s something that both the giver and receiver benefit from.”

“Kindness to me also includes understanding- even if you don’t make sense or or thoughts are irrational. It’s such a confusing time, someone being kind and saying ‘it’s ok I understand’ means the world.”

“Kindness is SO important. I have met many kind midwives and each time a small gesture has been performed it has meant so much. I will never forget the midwife who made me a cup of tea in the small hours after Luka was born. I was literally (emotionally and physically) broken and her kindness fixed me up enough to carry on.”

“In order to be truly kind one needs the time to be kind. How many people are in such a hurry during their day, under too much pressure or thinking of the next job, to afford true kindness? Kindness means kind words but it also means listening, accepting & acting on the kind thoughts. If you see a person in distress, true kindness is actively easing that distress both verbally and practically.”

“Kindness should be in everything we do. We should treat all women with kindness because it’s the small things that matter too. Even the most difficult, hard and situation can be made a little easier when we are shown kindness. People remember kindness and if we truly seek to show kindness it will affect how we care for women. I believe it should be one of our inner values that we keep and not allow the culture to eat away. It costs nothing and yet can have the biggest effects.”

“Kindness is being empathetic and showing the person that you understand how the person is feeling and showing that you care and that you understand.”

“A quick Google search says “Kindness: the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate.” Generous is an important one. To be kind, in my opinion, means to give of yourself, to do something that takes a bit of extra effort. To deliver a home cooked meal to a family with a new baby is kind. To offer to take baby for a buggy walk whilst mum has a nap is kind. To make a busy parent a cup of tea is kind. To be generous with your time and your abilities is kind. As for “considerate”, this is the one where language is important. Consider what language you are using and the impact that can have on a person. Speak with kindness, aim to boost a family’s confidence and pride rather than to leave them confused or with feelings of inadequacy. Consider how you would wish to be treated in the same situation. Consider what you know of the family and the impact those things might have on their experience.”

So kindness was a valued part of maternity care and many expressed that kindness had made a real difference to them, however small the act.

It was also raised that it is important to also show kindness to those who care for women.

“As families we must not forget that there are times for us to be kind. To be friendly or at least polite. To drop off a box of chocolates on the ward to say thank you. To donate some items to the hospital. To raise money for units that have cared for our children. If we have been fortunate enough to receive kindness we should remember to pass it back or pass it on.”

Yes Kindness in words and deeds really does make for a good Maternity experience for all.

Language

Language is something that is discussed a lot in Matexp, and something that is very important to so many. Language has the power to build up, encourage and empower or to tear down, increase doubts and intensify fear. The words we use can leave lasting impressions.

“Language sets the tone for every experience. What is said, translates into what we hear and that affects how we feel. Being told I was 2-3cm and could go home if I wanted to it was ok. But what I heard was, I’m a failure, I’m not progressing, I’m wasting everyone’s time. It didn’t matter what was said to alleviate those worries, they were now engrained. Also, the word normal is a horrible word and should be replaced with various other descriptive words that can resonate more with the mother. Language is communication, understanding and respect.”

“Language is about reducing the distance between provider and parents and creating a collaborative ‘us’ rather than ‘them’. It’s as much about listening as talking, and it’s about choosing words that come from kindness, even if we can’t avoid the risk that they’re not always received that way.”

“It’s not just the words themselves (although these are important!) but also how it’s delivered. Positive phrasing is important we need to ban certain phrases IMO! A big cultural shift around certain stock phrases is needed. It’s about having a two-sided conversation/discussion in relation to decision making ultimately with the individual involved making the decision with all the facts available, I.e. looking directly at a person when talking, hello my name is campaign, doing admin once individual left room rather than spending lots of time looking at screen or doing paperwork etc.”

“For me language and the way we use language can convey so much. It should always be used in a kind way mindful of the person and their situation. Listening is so important as is thinking about the words we use. Our language should convey that we care, are interested, want the best for that person and that we are genuine. It shouldn’t be harsh or critical or brash.”

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Don’t fill silence with platitudes. Judgement is implied in so many statements unwittingly uttered when they fall on the ears of person who is suffering / has suffered a trauma. Instead hold a hand, mop a brow, smile, rub a shoulder but be so careful. It’s easy to say “well you are mum now you’ll put your baby first…” wh
en a new mum admits she feels awful, it’s said without malice, as a statement of fact as you see it BUT to the traumatised mummy it can say something different. To me it said “selfish mum, thinking about yourself, crap mum can’t do it” and so I hid how bad I felt and went home with retained placenta and developed sepsis. Think before you speak.”

“Words need to: be positive, encouraging, soothe, be honest, kind, compassionate, open, have empathy, be professional, clear and simple and always respectful.

Words without:
Attitude
Contempt
Judgement or jargon
Chat ‘with you’ not ‘to you or above you’
Words should not be dismissive or exclusive
Words of kindness always…Words are but leaves, deeds are the fruit.”

“The words we use provide the framework for our thinking. I can tell by the words you use what you think and therefore feel about me. Language is about communicating. We need to develop and agree a shared language to do this well. I don’t really care what your “correct terminology” is unless we have established what it means to us in this relationship. If you are not sure what words to use let’s talk about it. It’s a great way of building trust.”

“Language for me is one aspect of communication and facilitation and if we use it with the aim to facilitate then we are on the right track- this means personalising for atmosphere, experience, individual on a moment by moment level. And we must match the language with all other aspects of communication otherwise it is hard for women to trust in us as the words we use seem at odds with body language etc. Language should be used to empower, inform, educate, provide choice in a non judgemental safe, exploratory non defensive manner. That is the ideal. Consent, not coerce, create chances for inclusion in the care relation ship and take care in the words we choose- as said above we all take things in different ways, but if we are authentic in what we say then that’s a good start.”

Two words in particular that came out as needing to be thrown into room 101 and these were;

“Failure“ and “incompetent”

Language is a very important Heart Value. We need to think about the words we use, but also the way those words are used. Language can greatly affect birth because words are so powerful.

Respect

We would think that respect would be an obvious part of a maternity experience, but sadly many women and staff say they feel it is lacking.

“To me respect means an absence of any type of prejudice. It means getting to know the individual, not treating everyone the same. Acknowledging the family’s history, experience and their knowledge and understanding without making assumptions. Respecting the mother’s decisions as much as her body.”

“Respect is valuing people and listening to/valuing their opinions even if they differ from yours. Finding a way to use these collaboratively when making plans. This respect should go both ways too, no point looking for respect if you’re not giving it.”

R … Respect
E … Every one’s
S… Sensitive soul
P… We are just people
E…Eager to do our best
C… Careful how you say things
T … Two way communication needs kindness & respect.

“Due regard to the feelings or rights of others is where respect really hits in #MatExp. We must give due regard to the feelings and rights of families, whatever our personal views or experiences.”

“Avoid harm or interfering with” – another crucial one. Sometimes these feel mutually exclusive in some areas of #MatExp – can we avoid interfering with mothers and babies but still avoid harm? If in doubt, we go back to respecting the feelings or rights of others. And of course we have to consider whether the baby has rights as well.”

“Respect is valuing the person’s point of view and valuing them as a person. What they want, what they feel and this should be discussed with the woman. Actually to define respect is not that easy. I was thinking how the medical profession has commanded respect and still does and it is very aligned to value.’

“Based on my personal experience, respect is knowing and understanding that this is MY body, MY pregnancy and MY baby NOT yours (health practitioners); hence LISTEN to me, give me OBJECTIVE information to help me to make ‘INFORMED’ decisions and FIGHT/ADVOCATE for my wishes. Don’t give me your opinion if I haven’t asked for it and recognise my birth doesn’t fit round your schedule but the other way. And everything everyone has said so far.”

Respect also encompasses staff and the environment they work and care for women in.

“The first part is the respect I hope all birth professionals command, as they are doing an amazing job.”

“Agree to recognise and abide by”. Do all of the guidelines and protocols in your hospital or birthing centre command respect? Do you respect family’s birth plans? Do families respect your recommendations? Can all of these things be married together? Respect encompasses a huge amount of concepts. We all want it and we’re often slow to give it.”

“It also means respecting each other as staff, working as a team and supporting each other’s roles. Respect also included speaking up when we see wrong attitudes or treatment. It also means the respecting of other view points and realising we can all have different perspectives and that’s ok.”

Respect for women, their families, beliefs, choices and needs MATTERS. Staff too need respect for each other and but also afford respect for the amazing job they are doing.

Dignity

How can we respect a woman’s dignity in birth?

“For me dignity means, allowing me to make decisions without health professional over riding them and making you feel as though you’ve said something wrong.”

“For me respect and dignity come hand in hand. Whatever happens if you have treated me with respect I will be able to preserve my dignity. Labour and birth put you on a very vulnerable place and being respected means whatever procedure or conversation takes place involving very intimate issues, I will feel like I am a human being rather than a problem or hinderance, or worse still, like there is something wrong with me, which is my fault, not a result of the circumstances.”

“Dignity is treating me in a way that doesn’t make me feel I’ve outstayed my welcome on the maternity ward.”

“For me, dignity is about human rights, and human rights are about being treated with respect…a pregnant woman or a woman in labour is entitled to her human rights being respected at all times, and she is entitled to be treated with dignity…there!”

“Recognise that respecting privacy, DIGNITY and autonomy is not an addition to care provision, but an integral part of good care…”

“Being spoken to as a competent adult rather than a naughty child, people introducing themselves before touching me, people remembering I am a person not just a uterus on legs.”

In fact this summed Dignity up perfectly.

Compassion

Last of our Heart Values, but by no means least, is Compassion. Some would argue that compassion alone is the single most important thing we can shown women in a maternity experience, if all care is based on compassion then it will encompass all the other Heart Values.

“To me compassion is seeing a person, realising that they are in need of not just your medical care but your emotional support, kindness and often just to know you actually care. It involves thought, as it can be such little things that make a difference. Think, if this was my daughter or sister how would I want them to be cared for ?”

“Compassion to me is always about time, the extra couple of seconds to smile at someone who looks worried; the couple of minutes to listen to someone who has a question or to ask someone who looks lost on a corridor if they need help; right up to the tasks that take a lot of time.”

Do we see compassion in maternity?

“When I was very sick waiting to have Joseph no one had any time to just sit with me, so the staff got a student midwife to sit and hold my hand. I’ll never forget her kindness. So even if there is no time sometimes there is another way.”

“I was really surprised when I was critically ill. I had a midwife refusing to leave as I was so poorly, she made sure she was my midwife 3 nights in a row. I had so many hugs from so many doctors, midwives, health care assistants I can’t count. I had my 27 weeker in an LNU rather than a Level 3 and they pulled out all stops so we could be cared for close to home.”

“One of my favourite consultants wasn’t even one of mine. Every day he would see me going to Joseph (over ten weeks) and give me a hug and tell me what a lovely mum I was. He was a huge support to me and probably had no idea.”

“For me, it was when one of my consultants told me “your baby *will* be premature”. I started to cry and she put her hand on my arm. It was such a human touch and I was so grateful. But I’m guessing that’s generally not encouraged, whereas for me, it meant so much: it said, I understand and I know this is hard. For me as well, it was when I finally left the hospital and one of my midwives gave me a big hug.”

“It was the array of midwives who looked after me for 10 days talking to me and making me feel almost as if I was just in a second home (ha I was in for 2 weeks which felt like a long time).”

“It was all the consultants who I had come across, always stopping when they saw me to ask how I was and how baby was doing. It was consultants who came to find me the next day to see how I was doing post c sec.I didn’t really expect that, as they must all be very busy people, but they never gave that impression of being in a rush etc.”

“I had so much kindness and compassion when I was in hospital with Joseph, my favourite was the day after Joseph was born, he was ventilated in NICU and I was in my room. I knew I couldn’t see him that day, and had been warned it would be Monday, this was Friday. I quietly crying and the obstetrician reg Charlie came in and said “why are you crying” and I said “I’m fine, I’m hormonal and still very ill and just feeling a bit sorry for myself”. He said “Nonsense, you need to see your baby and I WILL make it happen”. He spent hours organising everything to get me to NICU to see my baby, I will never forget his kindness and him realising that was what I needed, and being prepared to make it happen.”

Can we as families show compassion to staff?

“For staff I believe we should remember the hard work they do and commend them for that. Also be respectful to them. Also compassionate towards each other as a team. Help each other, treat with respect, and value each other’s gifts and abilities. Compassion I truly believe goes a long way when it comes to improving Matexp for all!”

“Immediate thought: always offer your midwife or health visitor a brew when they come to your home, coz they work bloody hard smile emoticon And we know that in the UK tea = compassion.”

“Give thanks and praise where it’s due, people are so quick to complain but never to give thanks. For HCPs, spend 1 moment before each meeting to take a deep breath, rid yourself of other thoughts and allow all focus to be on the couple/Mama you are going to speak with/assist.”

“One of the biggest revelations I’ve had this year, during a fairly turbulent time, is that it is impossible to practice compassion as a HCP towards women day in day out unless you also practice self-compassion.”

“This thread has inspired me. Tonight the children and I are going to bake a big chocolate cake and then tomorrow deliver it to the Labour Ward as a thank you to all the exceptional midwives who work so hard there.”

So those are our six Heart Values. These values are the heart of Matexp, they permeate the actions we make to improve maternity services everywhere.The Values will continue to grow and expand as Matexp does too.

Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and ideas with us. We had so many it was impossible to include every single one here, but we hope all the above comments capture the thoughts of women, families and staff.

Matexp is amazing and will make changes for families everywhere. A woman will remember her birth for the rest of her life so lets make sure we do all we can to make her maternity experience one she remembers for all the right reasons, which we can if we remember our Matexp Heart Values. Lets but the heart into Matexp.

Emma Sasaru

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National Maternity Review – National Drop-In Listening Events

30 July 2015 by Leigh Kendall / MatExp and Me, The #MatExp Journey / Comments Off

The National Maternity Review held its first listening event on July 23. #MatExp was represented by Flo, Gill, and Leigh. If you were unable to attend, you can read more about what happened in Gill’s fab, visual Steller story and Leigh’s blog.

The NHS Maternity Review wants to hear from everyone!

You are invited to come and share your views and experiences of maternity services and care.

The NHS Maternity Review will be hosting a number of events around the country as part of its national tour to hear how women, their families and advocates, provider organisations and the professional bodies involved in maternity care feel about the current services. We also want to know what you would like the Review Panel to bear in mind as our members go about their work. These events are an opportunity to share your experiences, contribute to the work of the Review, and have your voice heard.

The feedback from these events will contribute directly to the work of the Review and we are keen to hear from women, their families, those who work in maternity services and other professional bodies. All are welcome to come and share your views.

The Review will be visiting the following locations on the dates below. Final details for some of these events will be circulated in due course.

Tuesday 4^th August, 10am-7pm – The Lancaster Suite, Preston Guildhall & Conference Centre, Preston
Friday 7^th August, 9am-4.30pm – Morton Park Family & Community Centre, Carlisle
Thursday 13^th August, 10am-8pm – Holyfields Centre, Birmingham
Tuesday 25^th August, 10am-7pm – Acorn Children’s Centre, Taunton
Wednesday 26^th August, 9am-7pm – venue tbc, Plymouth
Tuesday 1^st September, 9am-7pm – St Nicolas Centre, Ipswich
Wednesday 2^nd September, 9am-7pm – The Kings Centre, Norwich
Friday 4^th September, 9am-7pm – venue tbc, St. Albans
Thursday 17^th September, 10am-7pm – venue tbc, Sheffield
Friday 18^th September, 10am-7pm – venue tbc, Manchester
Monday 21^st September, 10am-7pm – venue tbc, East London
Wednesday 7^th October, 10am-7pm – venue tbc, Newcastle

For more information, please contact [email protected] (who are organising the events for the Review).

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#MatExp in Numbers and Pictures!

18 July 2015 by Leigh Kendall / #MatExp Actions, Language, The #MatExp Journey / Comments Off

Our ‘small pilot’ MatExp has been going really well…!

Here are some quick facts, figures, and graphics:

Since the website was launched in June, we have had more than 7,000 hits!
There are more than 700 members of the #MatExp Facebook group, generating very constructive discussion
We had 24 action selfies for #FlamingJune
16 posts added to our action linky during #FlamingJune

We tried to capture everything from #FlamingJune in a picture – there’s so much but we gave it a go!

To end #MatExp #FlamingJune a huge thank you to everyone for amazing action & more to come 💥 pic.twitter.com/a1WOg9Bahy

— Flo W (@FWmaternity) June 30, 2015

#MatExp has seen more interaction on social media than ones about similar issues (not that it’s a competition, but what is so brilliant about #MatExp is that there is no limit to the number or type of people who can get involved because it’s by everyone, for everyone).

This next stat is VERY exciting:

Since #MatExp started being used as a hashtag there have been – drumroll please…

Yes you read that right – more than 152 million!

(Impressions means that Tweets bearing the #MatExp hashtag would have been seen on that number of timelines)

Guys and St Thomas’ Hospital held a Whose Shoes workshop, and seems to have inspired everyone who went, with 100% of attendees saying it would impact on their practise!

Fab news! 💯 📈 #MatExp #WhoseShoes feedback from @CamellaMainMw @GSTTnhs 🌟💜 @Gynaecology1 @LesleyPageRCM @WeMidwives pic.twitter.com/oF6sPo2Gnm

— Gill Phillips (@WhoseShoes) July 16, 2015

Members of the #MatExp community have been busy putting into action improvements relevant to their own hospitals:

https://twitter.com/NorwichMidwife/status/621756563657760769

Being the language champion, I’ve been heartened to see so much chat about the issue with people from all sorts of professions and specialties taking on board the importance, value and impact of language.

I love this:

@WeMidwives #WeMidwives #fearofbirth #language #barriers pic.twitter.com/6rmNQAXKZC

— Jonathan Cliffe (@JonathanCliffe8) July 14, 2015

Other language – such as ‘allow’ and ‘fail’ can have a devastating, enduring effect on a woman.

Culture can take a while to transform, of course, but the fact that we are able to have such conversations, and so openly too is a very positive start indeed.

I 💜that! #MatExp #language matters! @SagefemmeSB @WeMidwives @corden1326 @FWmaternitykhft @JennytheM @alibrodrick pic.twitter.com/IWSqtFqQ9X

— Gill Phillips (@WhoseShoes) July 15, 2015

I was delighted to find this paragraph below on a site called lulubaby, which offers a range of courses to ‘prepare you for life with your baby’.

Words of common sense – “…you cannot sadly guarantee yourself a ‘natural birth’, even with the greatest willpower and determination…” fill my heart with joy. No mention of ‘low risk’ or ‘high risk’ either – let’s hope such common sense becomes much more common!

Never forget….

#MatExp – language.
Beware – words are powerful ! 💥 #wemidwives pic.twitter.com/JFWTXziDAl https://t.co/wUlQ4h9grP

— Gill Phillips (@WhoseShoes) July 14, 2015

I am incredibly proud to have been named in the HSJ’s list of Patient Leaders, along with Ken Howard who designed our brilliant logo, and Alison Cameron, revolutionary extraordinaire.

I was there supporting my friends @allyc375 @kenhowarduk @leighakendall. A very special award 🌟🌟🌟! #HSJPatientLeaders pic.twitter.com/sNXlaIWqBy

— Gill Phillips (@WhoseShoes) July 7, 2015

Next week, I’m attending the listening event, the first of the National Maternity Review team’s activities. I’m going to be there as part of #HugosLegacy as well as #MatExp – I’ll be sharing my own experiences as well as thinking about how #MatExp can connect with the National Maternity Review team to make things happen. Flo and Gill are coming too – we spend so much time connecting on social media, it’s great to be able to catch up face-to-face sometimes too.

So! We’ve been rather busy. Which is why we have been seeking ways to create more hours in the day, such as getting a job lot of time-turners, like Harry Potter’s Hermione.

@WhoseShoes @JennytheM look what I bought today should help 😉‼️ #MatExp @leighakendall @KathEvans2 pic.twitter.com/iH8C1fc2Ft

— Flo W (@FWmaternity) July 12, 2015

And we’re going to need them, because after the summer we have LOADS of exciting things going on, such as NHS Expo, and a #MatExp conference – watch this space! I’m looking forward to meeting even more of the #MatExp community, many of whom have become friends at these events.

All of the #MatExp community are busy doing something positive every day, of course. A huge THANK YOU to you all. These are for you for taking the time to get involved, share your stories and to make a difference to women, babies and their families. Forget-me-nots are very special flowers!

There is so much going on – Helen, Emma, and Susanne are also capturing as much as they can in their fab posts; it’s impossible to capture everything, but please know that every action and activity, whether big or small is greatly appreciated.

A couple of final thoughts…

You don’t need to ask for permission (besides the obvious!) – JFDI! and always remember…

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#FlamingJune – #Matexp igniting the flames to improve maternity experiences

29 June 2015 by Emma Sasaru / #MatExp Actions, About MatExp, Baby Loss, Feeding, Informed Choice, Language, The #MatExp Journey / Comments Off

Wow what a month its has been! The whole of June has been #FlamingJune, a month when everyone was asked to share actions big or small to show ways they are going to improve maternity experiences. Everyone whether a mother, a doula, a midwife, blogger or campaigner was invited to post actions on the Matexp facebook page, the twitter hashtag #Matexp or the Matexp website.

What a response! In fact there have been so many actions it is impossible to list them all. But here is a little round up of the general ideas behind the actions.

LISTEN, this was mentioned by so many and shows how important is it that women are listened to, in pregnancy, during birth and afterwards. Many voiced that this simple action alone would have improved their experience and many voiced that listening to women more was their action.

ADVOCATE, for women, for families, by Blogs, campaigns, education classes and working with local maternity liaison service committees many spoke of ways they will seek to support families. Some will be doing so be simply voicing their own experience.

CHOICE, campaign for, raise awareness of, make sure women are aware of and given choices and that their choices are listened to, respected. Some actions involved women simply educating themselves on the choices available to them, while others spoke about raising awareness of options and choices and how to get support.

SUPPORT, for breastfeeding, families with babies in NNU or on paediatric wards, perinatal mental health and for families that have lost their precious babies. Also how healthcare professionals can all work together to make support for families better. There were so many amazing ideas and actions on support and again many voiced how important support is.

Some said that their actions were to become midwives and health visitors and to be on the frontline of supporting women and their families, to change cultures and improve maternity services.

During #FlamingJune we have discussed, tongue ties, infant feeding, baby loss, perinatal wellbeing, birth trauma, medication while breastfeeding, NICU, low birth weight, PND and much more. These were based around the Matexp twitter Alphabet.

This month saw us celebrate fathers day and the importance of dads to families. We saw beautiful pictures on the Matexp facebook page of dads doing skin to skin, holding, playing and loving their families. It was so moving, and truly showed how valuable they are and all partners, to the wellbeing of families.

This month was also #celebratebreastfeeding week. Again we saw amazing pictures and comments of the good support that families have had, but also many posts on the lack of support that so often seems the situation many families face. With many areas finding cuts are being made to breastfeeding support it is a timely reminder of how important it is that feeding support is part of a good maternity experience.

#FlamingJune saw the release of the first, of we hope many, videos on Matexp. Florence, Gill and Sarah in a really moving video shared with us all how and why Matexp started, the whoseshoes workshops and the impact it has had on services.

Also the first Matexp workshop to be held outside of London in Guernsey which is so exciting. Hopefully workshops will start to spread all over the UK and who knows eventually, maybe the whole world.

So as we reach the end of #FlamingJune what now? Well if you haven’t made an action you still can, it doesn’t have to be a big change it can be as simple as thinking about the language we use around a pregnant women or to share our story. If we have made an action, keep going to see it through. Every small change we make as individuals makes a difference. It maybe that your action will be hard to make happen, or will take a long time, but don’t give up because even just changing the maternity experience for one family makes it so worthwhile.

There are more plans ahead for the coming months, so much to look forward to. Thank you for the journey so far, for your actions, thoughts, comments and support. Matexp puts families at the heart, its overall theme is kindness and compassionate care. It is a safe place for everyone to voice their views. So take a look and get involved in making maternity experiences better for everyone.

Emma Jane Sasaru

@ESasaruNHS

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#MatExp Book Club

22 June 2015 by Florence Wilcock / About MatExp, MatExp and Me, The #MatExp Journey / Comments Off

One of the beauties of #MatExp and our ‘Whose shoes’ maternity workshops is to start to see each other as equals and as people , breaking down assumptions about roles and views. Last week I got into an exchange on Twitter that I believe exemplified this. Catherine @BerksMaternity suggested that those involved in #MatExp might like to read ‘Birth: A History’ by Tina Cassidy. I think she was surprised when replied that I had read it twice over its a brilliant book that my mum gave me. It’s a fascinating history of birth through the ages. In fact it’s there on our Pinterest maternity whose shoes board as I tweeted about it last August. We then started an exchange of other books and a comment about the importance of reading & reflection.

This Twitter exchange made me think about the idea of a #MatExp book group idea. We all share a common interest of improving maternity experience and with it the desire to break down barriers between people so we can work constructively together. There maybe other books that we share a love for, there may be books or extracts that are useful in prompting reflection and thought about how we perceive others. I can immediately think of all sorts of books that influence my thinking that I could share & I’m sure others can too. There are some obvious books to share an comment on those directly about maternity such as Sheena’s @SagefemmeSB wonderful collaborative book ROAR. There are books that fact or fiction that have nothing directly to do with maternity but that influence the way we think. To use a quote from one of my all time favourite books:

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.” Mr. Darcy

So I would like to suggest that together we ‘improve our minds’ by sharing some of those books some may be books we recommend are worth reading others may be about sharing the impact they have had on us. To kick us off I will share two.

A Glasgow Manual of Obstetrics Edited by SJ Cameron 1936

I found this in a second hand book shop many years ago & I love to dip in and out of its pages. It has some fascinating diagrams , horrific descriptions of destructive procedures and is like a window into the past. It shows some things never change like the mechanisms of labour and others have changed completely. One of my favourite paragraphs describes not getting out of bed until ten days postnatal and not going outside until week four. This book is the reason why one of my favourite cards in ‘whose shoes’ MatExp workshop asks ‘what do you think we do now that we will look back on and wonder why’ a question promoted by Gill’s mum recounting use of castor oil in her time!

The Hand that First Held Mine by Maggie O’Farrell

I love many of Maggie O’Farrell’s books my favourite is actually ‘The vanishing act of Esme Lennox’ more of which another time. In The hand that first held mine she writes a very powerful description in the first few chapters of a woman’s experience of a massive obstetric haemorrhage and the immediate postnatal period afterwards. It is an incredibly terrifying description both of the events but also her confusion with the well meaning midwife, health visitors etc who come and do her home visits afterwards. I highly recommend dipping into it and have sometimes read excerpts as part of training sessions.

So there are two books to get people thinking, I’ve picked at random there are many more I can and will suggest. So calling all #MatExp friends what books do you recommend or what do you get out of them that you could add to the #MatExp book group conversation ?

Florence Wilcock
Divisional Director Specialist Services
Kingston Hospital NHS Foundation Trust

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#Matexp – Emotional Wellbeing – what do families really need?

15 June 2015 by Emma Sasaru / #MatExp Actions, About MatExp, Baby Loss, Birth Trauma, Environment and Facilities, Feeding, Postnatal Care, Pregnancy Complications, The #MatExp Journey, Uncategorized / Comments Off

Supporting families – Emotional Wellbeing

#Flamingjune is well under way and there has been so many wonderful conversations taking place on the Matexp facebook group. As part of this months campaign, ACTIONS to improve services have very much been at the forefront with everyone sharing ideas to make sure support given to families is the best it can be.

With this in mind one of the subjects discussed was Emotional Wellbeing. Many shared heartfelt stories, and personal experiences as well as ideas that would have made a difference them and their families.

Matexp asked;

How much do you feel your pregnancy, birth and postnatal care affected your emotional wellbeing?
How do you think we can help prepare women and their partners for the impact that birth and caring for a new baby has on emotional wellbeing ?
What supported or helped you to protect your emotional wellbeing?
What can be done to help health care professionals be able to support families better?

Many commented on how we often under estimate the impact having a new baby has on a family. It was said that ‘adapting from working life to being at home was overwhelming’, ‘that often dads are working long hours and need support too’ and having somewhere to go to talk to others and relax was vital. Emotional support was mentioned as being a “basic need” for families.

One comment noted that ‘real life’ parenting needs to be discussed at antenatal contacts. “We are bombarded with the prefect images of parenthood, I don’t think people are prepared for the realities of parenthood – being totally exhausted but this little person still needs feeding and there is no milk in the fridge so you cant even have a coffee to wake up you”.

Another commented’ ” professionals need to understand the stresses which parents face not just with the birth, but financial, logistical etc”. What suggestions were made that would help? “By looking through the eyes of the patient, and trying to see things from their point of view”. Yes walking in another’s shoes so to speak showing empathy, and understanding helps provide support that protects the emotional wellbeing of families.

Many voiced feeling left alone, isolated and ‘fending for themselves’ after the birth of their babies and how this impacted their emotional wellbeing. Many felt afraid to voice they were struggling with motherhood and kept it to themselves worrying they be dismissed or viewed as ‘failing’.

Others voiced how important good support from health visitors, peer support and support groups was to their emotional wellbeing and not just for mom but dads too. In fact is was mentioned how important it is to ask dads how they are doing too!

Again and again support was mentioned for birth trauma and loss of a baby. Things such as professional counselling to be available as standard and peer support on wards and units. As well as health professionals knowing where to signpost families for support including local charities and national organisations.

One comment read “the single biggest thing would have been to treat us respectfully”. Very sobering.

So what were some of the actions that came out of the discussion to help with emotional wellbeing?

Maternity units to have specially trained staff to care for those that have suffered birth trauma, loss or mental health issues.
To remember that care involves emotional support not just physical.
Peer support for families on wards and in NICU.
Specialist counselling services available as part of post-natal after care and on NICU unit so families do not have to leave their babies.
Antenatal support on ‘real life’ caring for a baby, as well as how to look after their emotional wellbeing.
After birth de-briefs for sharing of experiences both good and bad to help improve care given.
Remember that dads need support too.
Health professionals to be aware of support available to families so they can signpost.
For all staff supporting families to show kindness, compassion and empathy and provide care that is patient-centred meeting individual needs.
Most of all treat families with respect. “letting mums and dads know that being good is good enough – they don’t need to be perfect”.

Emotional wellbeing is important for families, by sharing experiences, listening and working together we can help improve the maternity experience for all.

There is beauty in giving to others

Click here to add more actions

Emma Jane Sasaru

@ESasaruNHS

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#MatExp – Real or Not Real?

14 June 2015 by Florence Wilcock / #MatExp Actions, MatExp and Me, The #MatExp Journey / Comments Off

As we reach the middle of #FlamingJune I have been thinking about the week I’ve had. To be honest it has pushed my multitasking abilities to the limit: I have had a number of big events to attend or speak at, as well as the day job of being a divisional director at Kingston and a clinician seeing and caring for women – and this is before I even consider my husband and daughters.

Amongst all this I sometime wonder if #MatExp is really having an impact, or have I just got carried away.

It has been a tricky week for others too. The more people know about #MatExp and what we are trying to do the better, but this comes with pressure and also criticism.

It is hard to understand that this is an organic grassroots project with a direction and mind of its own. No one is ‘in charge’ and it is richer for it.

This was brought home to me at the London Maternity Strategic Clinical Network event held on Wednesday. The five pilot sites who had held a #MatExp ‘Whose Shoes’ workshop presented the action they had taken as a result and I was overwhelmed by the diversity of actions taken and the determination with which people had followed through in a multitude of ways.

Devolved leadership and true collaboration with women has been our hallmark from the beginning but I was bowled over to actually witness the results of all the actions gathered together in one place and to recognise how powerful the outcome of the workshops was.

At the same event we launched our ‘Maternity Experience’ film. It was a tense moment, it is so difficult when you are knee-deep in a project to step back and see it afresh and I wasn’t sure how others would find it. I so desperately wanted it to to be true to the workshops and #MatExp conversations we have had over the months.

Fortunately on the whole it seems to have rung true and be a success, which I hope will power more thinking and questioning on a daily basis of ‘why do we do it this way, what could we do instead?’

Rounding off my week I have had the small matter of conversations with the leadership of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) about how they could help, and a flying visit by Helen Bevan to Kingston on Thursday when she said ‘there was lots going on #MatExp yesterday, I got tweeted your film about 15 times!’.

It’s a roller coaster ride but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Each time I have a doubt something happens that reaffirms that however small , changes are actually happening. Just yesterday a midwife at Kingston told me her pledge from our October workshop will be completed next week. She has stuck with it through barriers and blocks and seen it to completion and that desire for action, that is what #MatExp is all about!

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No need for permission to join #Flaming June – JFDI!

7 June 2015 by Florence Wilcock / #MatExp Actions, MatExp and Me, The #MatExp Journey / 1 Comment

It’s nearly a week since lighting the fuse and setting off ‪#FlamingJune with a bang. We launched our website and we are starting to see that ripple of action as a result as well as trying to draw on existing events and plans that we knew were happening in June.

It is getting people’s attention – perfect, just as we hoped! We are being quoted and used as an example, as a change platform, a campaign it’s awesome!

But in some ways we are victims of our own success we are just that bit too innovative and cutting edge so it is hard for people to understand just what we are.

We are not an organisation, we are not employed to do this, we have no funding, we have no rules or structure.

We are quite simply people. People who are like minded, people with initiative, people who see the need for change and want to enable it to happen by bring ideas together and encouraging action.

Some of us it is true are NHS employees however this work is not in our job description we are doing this in our spare time round busy day jobs and home life. Many of us are juggling this with other jobs, small children, home commitments, life… the thing that unites us is a passion and an energy to keep improving maternity services.

So if I were to define us, we are an ever growing fluid and flexible movement of people who want to enable change and improvement in maternity services.

There are no rights or wrongs, no one needs permission to join in, we are leading by default because we happened to step forward.

There is plenty more space for people to step in to help. The key message is to value and respect all views; encourage airing problems to find solutions and we will endeavour to help and support those who can and want to jump on board as best we can.

We have a lot of exciting days to come in June & beyond. Bring it on!

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